Tag: #wellness

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Remove Your CAPE–No More Superwoman Syndrome

In our WDNAI documentary, we were asked about the “Strong Black Woman” persona and how we thought it was affecting black women. One of my Destiny Diamond sisters from Volume 1 (shout out to Shadawn McCants) was absolutely right when she said that cape is choking us!! I said I reject my cape—I’m giving it back! And as I’ve said before, I want every woman to know that it’s time to take that CAPE off and say no to Superwoman Syndrome!

For me C.A.P.E. stands for: Checking boxes, Anxiety, which is very much associated with Perfectionism, and Exhaustion.

We don’t have to be superhuman to be powerful. Our vulnerability IS powerful. Our authenticity IS powerful.

I want you to choose:

Progress over Perfection.

Purpose over Perfection.

Power over Perfection.

Peace over Perfection.

Checking Boxes:

I was just walking around and performing and succeeding because it was what I knew how to do. And I felt the weight of having to be the ONE that looked like me in most rooms—there is that weight of representing your gender and ethnicity that follows you.

I was doing it to the detriment of my health and had to ask myself to what purpose. And I was overwhelmed by all of it—the mom and wife and physician and leader and migraine. I had to make a change. As my sister Rochelle Jacobs says, no one is coming to save you but you. I had decisions to make.

I started with learning to sit down, evaluating my core values, and asking myself if my life was consistent with these values. I realized that it wasn’t, so it was time to do something about it. It wasn’t easy, but it was possible. And if I can, you can.

Purpose over perfection.

Anxiety:

Did you know that perfectionism is associated with anxiety and depression? Well, I was definitely having some dark moments trying to figure out how to break the cycle I was in or keep performing at peak levels when my body was literally giving out on me. And what would people think when I had to admit I needed a break? What would people think if I needed help?

Setting boundaries, using my NO, and learning to choose goals and activities that were consistent with my core values were essential to my shift. I worked on changing the way I approach life, and it is crushing the feelings of anxiety. The people who love you want you to take care of yourself, and typically want to help you in the ways they can. The ones who are judging you? God bless them. They likely have their own issues they are dealing with. Truly. It’s not about you but you also don’t need their negativity. Pray for them and keep it moving.

You deserve better.

Power over Perfection.

Perfectionism:

So…at the heart of it all is the spirit of perfectionism and the topic is so deep I can’t fully go into it in this space. But some fast facts:

  • it’s more prevalent in recent years than 30 years ago
  • People with perfectionism rarely participate in adequate self-care
  • while high standards and a desire for excellence can be a good thing, perfectionism typically inhibits enough that it keeps a person from performing to their true potential due to fear of judgment and procrastination

Although I was quite successful in my perfectionism, I can tell you that I found it keeping me from speaking up in meetings where I had great ideas or holding back from projects or steps in my life where I was scared of some type of failure. In fact, I realized I had not really ever failed at anything because I never really attempted anything I didn’t know I could do—I played it safe which also likely kept me from growth.

One of my favorite quotes by Marion Williamson in part states, “We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?” Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing it small doesn’t serve the world.”

We have a responsibility to live up to our fullest potential. Focus on the process, not the outcome. Failure is inevitable if you are trying for something extraordinary, but it also brings you one step closer to success. As someone said, you’ve learned one way not to do it. Don’t let your perfectionism hold you back.

Progress over perfection.

Exhaustion

I was exhausted, not just physically, but mentally and emotionally. I was running my body into the ground. I had a continuous migraine, a condition called status migrainosus, and would not get it properly evaluated, adequately treated, or simply take some days off to try to rest appropriately.

Mentally, I was drained, because trying to keep up with the demanding academics of medicine and plan and take care of domestic responsibilities when in pain was grueling. Emotionally, I was a wreck. Chronic pain is associated with depression, and I’m not going to say I was depressed, but I was definitely irritable, frustrated, a little scared—all day, every day. I also felt like no one understood what I was going through and couldn’t support me.

Exhaustion. When you’re carrying more than you should, you can be emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually tired, because you don’t have time to take care of you. Remember, loving others begins in appropriate self-love, and self-love equals self-care.

Start setting boundaries. Ask for help appropriately. Rest when you’re tired. Eat when you’re hungry. It sounds so basic, but sometimes, we just don’t. That cape is at the cost of our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health. We have to stop.

Peace over Perfection.

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Healthcare as Selfcare: A Bold Plan for 2021

I have never been a fan of New Year’s Resolutions. Why? Because people tend to come up with these grand plans that they only stick to for 1-2 months and then gloriously fall off the wagon. However, what I do tend to notice is that at the end of each year, I naturally tend to reflect on the year, seeing if I’ve grown as person. Have I improved on the human I was the previous year. How do I want to improve in the next year? I think it’s a natural closing of a chapter.

This year has been like no other in most of our lifetimes–it has brought about a different kind of stress, a different kind of reset. And so, at the end of this year, it does bring about a different kind of reflection.

My friend has given me the honor of being a part of her wellness retreats and speaking on physical health. We began just trying to pick up the pieces that COVID had shattered. Next was a REFOCUS, as we shifted our vision back to those things that could keep us healthy in mind, body and spirit (I, of course, focus on body in my sessions, but fully agree in the whole approach). This time, we REBUILD, as we plan for how we will enter 2021, in a new head space.

I want to caution everyone from thinking that 2021 will be perfect–because we all entered 2020 thinking it had to get better than 2019, and look what we got…lol! So I think the first lesson is to be prepared for ANYTHING, and GRATEFUL in EVERYTHING!

As we prepare to rebuild in whatever 2021 has to offer I want to remind us that healthcare IS selfcare, and if we’re going to achieve it, we must plan for it. Here’s the first steps.

Get Your Mind Right

A few important principles:

Be realistic about your preferences and your lifestyle. If you don’t, you are setting yourself up for failure. If you already wake up at 4:30 for work, you likely aren’t going to get up earlier to do anything. If you don’t eat green foods, you likely aren’t jumping straight into plant-based. Don’t set yourself up for failure. Set small, realistic goals, and celebrate every small win.

You want a schedule, and not a to do list. A to do list tends to make you feel a little like you have a never-ending list of things you didn’t get done, and reinforces a failure mind set.

We have to start by believing that it can happen. “Fake it til you make it.” “Speak it into existance.” “Believe it and you can achieve it.” For me, it all came together when I read the book Psycho-cybernetics and was confronted with science and real world examples of the self-fulfilling prophecies and self-limiting beliefs that everything came together. It made the practice of affirmations make sense. So part of what I want everyone to do is assign an affirmation to each piece of what you plan to accomplish as you move through your plan of self improvement, because whether you believe you will or you won’t, you’re right!

Remember, imperfection is okay, giving up is not. Plan for imperfection. Know that you will not be perfect, and there will be moments you’re going to have to pick yourself up from falling off the proverbial wagon or horse or whatever. Plan to fall AND GET UP EVERY TIME.

Rest

I always start here because if you aren’t resting well, nothing else in your life will go well. You must get enough sleep (7-9 hours nightly for adults) in order for good mental clarity. However, it also regulates weight, blood pressure, blood sugar, appetite, cardiovascular health….you get it, it regulates a great deal. You need sleep. Additionally, you need other types of rest: meditation, mindfulness, and play. Don’t forget that we are not designed to be on all the times. Studies show that we are more productive and healthier when we incorporate the right types of rest into our lifestyle.

Rest Plan

Example: Set your reminder on your phone for when your evening ritual should begin. Commit to having this relaxing time and going to bed at a relatively regular time.

Exercise

Exercise is beneficial for so many things. It helps control weight, improve cardiovascular health, decrease joint pains, strengthen muscles, improve cognitive function, control depression and anxiety, strengthen our immune system–again, I can go on and on. I like to think of exercise as the fountain of youth. If you don’t have an exercise plan, this should be high on your priority list. Jogging as little as 7 minutes daily can make a difference in cardiovascular health, and 150 minutes of moderate intensity cardiovascular exercise weekly is what is considered an active lifestyle (75 minutes of high intensity)–that’s just 30 minutes daily. Truly, being sedentary is one of the greatest risk factors for an early death, and we are all doing much more sitting with working from home, zoom meetings, etc.

Exercise Plan

Examples: 1. Commit to walking 30 minutes daily during a meeting that can be off camera. 2. Commit to waking 30 minutes earlier to zoom a zumba class. 3. Commit to walking 10 minutes on breaks three times a day. *Hint* You can multitask and watch videos for a class, watch taped shows, or be in a meeting while being on a treadmill, bike or elliptical

Feeding our Bodies Well

The old adage says “You are what you eat” and it’s proving more and more to be true. I like to say, “You get out what you put in,” and I think of food as the ultimate medicine. It’s so important to choose foods well, because our diet plays an important role in our over all health. Your choice of diet should really depend on your personal risk factors and natural tendencies, but generally sticking to a healthy plate won’t steer you wrong, and I like to teach this often. When you are picking which diet you’d like to go with, please remember that it’s important to consider your preferences, your lifestyle–be realistic, because consistence is key. The important think is that plants are your friend, whole foods are your friend, and it’s important to watch your portions. To learn more about the individual diets, select the links: Plant-based, Keto, Intermittent fasting, Mediterranean

Food Plan

Examples: 1. Have a grocery day and a cooking day *Hint* It only takes about 30 extra minutes to cook several sides and prep proteins for the week. 2. Commit and budget to purchase meal prep. 3. Consider grocery delivery if not already participating.

stay One Step Ahead

We have to stay one step ahead of our health by being on top of our screenings preventative health. This means going to our doctor’s visits, knowing what our numbers (cholesterol, blood sugars, blood pressures, BMIs) look like, and having a long term plan for our health. We need to make sure we are on top of screenings such as colon cancer screening, cervical cancer screening, breast cancer screening, osteoporosis screening, and cardiovascular screening, lung cancer screening and prostate cancer screening (age, gender, and risk specific). We also need to get our eye and dental exams. Don’t let these things fall to the back burner–prevention is care–I have saved lives through early detection.

Prevention Plan

Example: 1. Look at your schedule now to begin booking your healthcare appointments and scheduling that time. 2. Budget for the money you may have to spend on additional tests. Healthcare unfortunately does cost money in the United States.

Chronic Illness Control

This year has really thrown us for a loop, and it may be time to refocus on getting some chronic illnesses under control. The things above are important factors in controlling chronic illness, but if you have hypertension (high blood pressure), it’s also important that you be monitoring those numbers. If you have diabetes (high blood sugars), you need to be checking these numbers as well. It’s important that you have the supplies needed and that you make the time to monitor your health status. It’s also important that you take the time to make sure you are taking any prescribed medications that help keep your chronic illness in check. With my migraines, I have a few pharmaceuticals that help me manage my headaches–one is daily, one is monthly, and one I have to go in for quarterly to for injections. I will confess, I struggled for while with that daily medication–but I had to come up with some schedule to help me remember to get it in. I also have to make sure I make my quarterly appointments–and not just that–my weekly to biweekly physical therapy appointments, and as much as I hate working that into my schedule, it must be done. Make sure you are planning ahead and making the time to take care of your health.

Chronic Illness Control Plan

Example: 1. Attach taking your medications to an action that you do daily. Don’t do it until you’ve taken your medication. 2. Commit to taking your health measurements whatever prescribed frequency. Come up with a similar adherence plan.

US

Remember: this whole thing has been about us being on the schedule–us being a priority on our list. Don’t let the excuse for not accomplishing the above be because you were too busy doing something for the other people (husband, kids, employer) on your list. You are important. You matter. You are first on the list. Make it happen.

So remember, you need to book you me time. Sit with a work calendar and pick some days or afternoons off in advance–plan for those preventative care visits. Plan for your rest time. Plan for your exercise. You deserve it.

Example Affirmations

  1. My body is a temple and deserves proper maintenance and care.
  2. I prioritize rest and my health because I am important.
  3. I have presence of mind and choose my response to stress. I eat when I’m hungry–not emotional, and stop when I’m satisfied.

I invite you to share some of yours that you will use to help you on your journey to better health in the coming year!

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Sleep: So Underrated

Sleep is so important to our health, and according to the CDC, about 1/3 of Americans aren’t getting enough. Adults need between 7 and 9 hours of sleep nightly, and while you can try for an average, what we’ve actually seen in some studies is that some of the negative effects aren’t necessarily outweighed by making up for sleep debt at the end of the week.

So why is sleep so important?

  • Adequate sleep supports a healthy immune system.
  • It supports a healthy memory and sharp thinking
  • It keeps stress hormones in check
  • It helps stabilize our mood
  • It supports a healthy weight
  • It decreases inflammation
  • It decreases our sensitivity to pain
  • It helps our body repair and heal

So, what happens when we don’t get enough sleep?

  • We can be more at risk for infections.
  • We are more likely to have health problems like diabetes, hypertension and heart disease
  • We are more likely to have mood symptoms
  • We are more likely to overeat
  • We are more likely to age faster
  • We have decreased concentration and memory

So, what’s the first step? Committing to getting enough sleep. Set a bedtime and stick to it. It’s important to reduce blue light exposure about 1 hour before you want to go to bed, and ideally you’ll have a routine that relaxes your mind. You want to have a room that’s as dark as possible, and it’s best to have a cool environment.

Typically it’s not recommended to lie in bed for more than 20-30 minutes trying to sleep as this teaches your brain that bed is a place to try to sleep rather than to sleep. If you’re lying there trying to sleep, it’s best to get up and do something relaxing that doesn’t involve blue light and return to bed when you begin to feel yourself become very tired or nodding off.

There are many things that can interfere with sleep, including certain health conditions like sleep apnea. If you are truly having trouble with sleep, see your physician.

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COVID-19 Checklist: Putting Women’s Health Back on It

I’m super excited to join Karla J. Aghedo for another wellness weekend to Refocus as we continue this marathon inside of the COVID-19 pandemic. So much has gone on the backburner in 2020 due to this pandemic, and I’ve been tasked with reminding us all of some important things to add back to the checklist to ensure our physical health.

I’d like to start with a couple of important concepts. First, you get out of your body what you put into it. Keep that in mind as we move throughout each concept. Things do not necessarily come easily, but you get what you give. Equally, if not more importantly, I’m about to lay out a bunch of information. It can seem overwhelming–like I’m telling you you have to be perfect. The truth is there are tons of ways we could be taking better care of ourselves, but perfectionism is not something I want to encourage. Remember, in our journey of self improvement, imperfection is okay, giving up is not.

I do like a good pneumonic–so here goes–let’s REFOCUS!

R: Rest enough.

E: Exercise consistently.

F: Feed our bodies well.

O: stay One step ahead.

C: Control chronic illnesses.

US: We are just as important as everyone else.

Rest Enough

We live in a society that doesn’t value rest enough–we brag about how much we don’t sleep, how little vacation we take, all while we have more diabetes, hypertension, heart attacks and mental health problems. We need rest. And contrary to popular opinion, it actually makes us more productive. In the book Rest: Why You Get More Done When You Work Less,  Alex Soojung-Kim Pang explores many different types of rest and their importance. He gives a very brief summary in this article where he discusses concepts like starting an early morning routine, walking–particularly outdoors, napping, stopping work at the right time, and of course, sleep. I also like to include mindfulness and meditation in this area. All of these things are important foundations on which to build our physical health.

Exercise Consistently

There are soooo many benefits to exercise discussed here and here.

I always encourage my patients to do something that they find enjoyable–it doesn’t have to be the gym or running or weight lifting. It can be turning on youtube and learning the latest line dance! Just do something to get your heart pumping. Ideally, if you are doing something that would be considered moderate intensity cardio (that is, something that keeps your heart rate at 50-70% of your maximum heart rate for the duration of your work out), then you want to get about 150 minutes of exercise in weekly. If you are getting your heart rate between 70-85% of your maxiumum heart rate, or performing vigorous cardio exercise, you don’t have to do as much. You should also be incorporating strength and stretch into this program.

Feed Our Bodies Well

Whether you want to be plant-based, keto, low carb, intermittent fast or simply follow a healthy-plate, it is important that you focus on:

  • Eating as many whole foods as possible
  • Eating as many plants as possible
  • Eating as few processed foods as possible
  • Eating when you are hungry and stopping when you are satisfied, not full
  • Decreasing your sugars significantly
  • Try not to drink your sugars (smoothie exception, but be careful!)

Food is medicine. Eating well helps support our immune system, keep us at healthier weights, prevent and reverse metabolic syndrome and insulin resistance which causes diabetes mellitus type 2, prevents and reverses hypertension, prevents cardiovascular disease–the list keeps going.

(Stay) One Step Ahead

By this, I mean make sure you do your preventative care!

This means vaccines and cancer screenings.

This year it is of utmost importance to get your flu vaccine. I did a previous blog post here about the safety and importance of this vaccine. However in the midst of COVID, it is even more important to make sure we are protected. Why? Because the flu typically fills up our hospitals and ICUs during flu season. They are already more full than usual due to COVID patients. The same thing that cause widespread lock downs at the beginning of the year will cause widespread lockdowns again if we can’t contain hospital admissions. Also, I truly believe if we ever see influenza and COVID infect the same person, it will be unequivocally deadly–this is not something I want to see. Get vaccinated.

Depending on your age, you should be getting cervical cancer screening, breast cancer screening, colon cancer screening, osteoporosis screening. You may need lung cancer screening. You also should consider continuing to get your eye and dental exams depending on your health status.

Control Chronic Illness

One thing we have seen many people do is put off regular physicians appointment out of fear of contracting COVID-19. It is important that if you have chronic health problems such as hypertension, diabetes, and heart disease, that you are scheduling your follow up appointments with your physician. You want to stay ahead of these health problems since poor control can have you end up in the hospital and possibly with infections. Consider a virtual visit if this is being offered, but also, many offices have come up with procedures to make in person visits safer for their patients. Make sure you are completing your blood work, taking your medications as prescribed, and doing all the lifestyle pieces above to optimize your health.

US: So important, I had to make it plain

We need to be on this list. While all these things are about us, I find it needs to be said that we are a priority. So many times my patients “can’t” do the things above because they are too busy prioritizing someone else over themselves. Our health is just as important. We are just as important. I sometimes say that you can’t take care of X if you aren’t taking care of yourself, but truthfully, God made you in the same special way He made everyone else. You deserve. Put yourself on the list–high up on it.

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Meditation

There are many types of meditation, but mindfulness meditation is the type that has been most studied in scientific literature.

I was first introduced to the concept in college, and I wasn’t a fan. Though I’ve always been incredibly introspective, and thought myself open-minded, I didn’t get it. Meditation first became a tool that was extremely useful for me when I was working in a position that wasn’t suited to my personality, and was driving me a little crazy/depressed. I went through formal mindfulness training at that time that really helped me to survive my last few months in that job.

Now, I use mindfulness and meditation to help me with my migraines. I have become a true believer–through practice–that my migraines must be controlled through a balance of all of the interventions that I have thrown at them: pharmacology (meds), diet, exercise, physical therapy, and mindfulness. If one is out of balance, it doesn’t work.

So what does the literature say?

Well, this 2017 Journal of American Heart Association article, discusses in detail hypertension, insulin resistance, heart disease, and finds that possible benefit on cardiovascular risk although the overall quality and in some cases, quantity of study data is modest. They go on to say that Meditation should be considered as a complementary therapy to help reduce cardiovascular risk for those who are interested in this practice, with the understanding that further research should be pursued.

The mind is a powerful tool, and one I believe should be utilized fully on our wellness journey.

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Wellness is…

My happy place

I’ve had this page now for about 10 months, and it’s about wellness. I sat down to try to come up with my definition of wellness, and I realized it was still quite nebulous.

One concept that resonated with me was a concept that I believe I got from one of the books I read in the time before my migraines–its the concept that true self care isn’t bubble baths, facials, massages–I mean, it can include those things, those are nice. True self care is the concept of creating a life from which you don’t need escape.

I also decided to look up some formal definitions of wellness.

UC Davis defines wellness as “an active process of becoming aware of and making choices towards a healthy and fulfilling life…more than being free from illness, it is a dynamic process of change and growth.”

The World Health Organization defines it as “…a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the abscence of disease or infirmity.”

The National Wellness Institute defines it as “a conscious, self-directed and evolving process of achieving full potential.”

Where I have always acknowledged that one has to be aware of the mental, physical and spiritual aspects to be completely well, the National Wellness Institute sites 6 dimensions of wellness, and UC Davis has as many as eight: occupational, emotional, spiritual, environmental, financial, physical, social, and intellectual.

It makes me chuckle to have arrived here after all this time–that wellness is a journey, not so much a destination. Something so obvious–something I have seen play out in my life and in my struggles to do this. Something I have seen play out in this blog. It took seeing it written in black and white, by scientific minds to really get it. I feel a little basic…lol.

A thought that is reinforced by this definition: Imperfection is okay, but giving up is not.

Live well, friends.

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#ThankfulThursdays

I started this page/blog as a part of my personal journey towards mind/body/spiritual wellness. After having migraines completely turn my life upside down, I needed to be re-centered. Within two weeks of one another, I posted an article on the touting the health benefits of gratitude and had a spiritual week that brought me to a personal need to practice more gratitude

Since then, I have implemented #ThankfulThursdays. Once a week, I commit to take some time to stop and list in public things I have to be grateful for, no matter what kind of day I’m having–what kind of week I’ve had. And you know what, it has been amazing. Honestly, I try to practice this attitude daily, remembering to be thankful in moments that seem darkest has been the thing that keeps me from losing myself at times.

You see, the troubles didn’t stop with the migraines, and they won’t go away after this patch of troubles goes away either. But I as long as I’m breathing, I’ll have something for which to give thanks, and it’s important to remember that!

See some of my posts in these compilations:

#ThankfulThursdays: A Compilation, Part 1

#ThankfulThursdays: A Compilation, Part 2

#ThankfulThursdays 8/18/2022 – Kim Sims, MD

#ThankfulThursdays: 8/31-9/8/2022

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Plant-Based and Yummy!!

I can’t wait to try some of these recipes!!

I have a friend who makes some dope t-shirts who invited me to a night market his business was attending, so husband and I went out to support. There was SOOO much cool stuff, but the reason for this post…the vegan food.

So, you all know, I briefly told you about the benefits of plant-based diets before. There isn’t a single diet modification with as much evidence behind it when it comes to cardiovascular benefit and cancer prevention, and it is also excellent for weight control, preventing and reversing insulin resistance and metabolic disease, and most of my patients who suffer from inflammatory disorders generally feel better if they go plant-based.

Anyway, I met this lovely woman who apparently is already quite well-known on the vegan scene in Houston, the chef behind Tay’s Vegan Eats!. I’m super excited, though, because I got a copy of her cookbook, and I now have a resource for my patients who don’t believe plant-based can be flavorful and fun! Honestly, I can’t wait to try some of her stuff in my kitchen–one of my biggest barriers to trying vegan myself is not having a resource of go-to recipes.

My husband tried the mac and cheez and liked it—and guys—this man calls himself a carnivore (though I did correct him and tell him he was an omnivore—though not a very good one, cuz he’s a little like a toddler when it comes to veggies). I wish I’d gotten a pic of him eating it—so bad at that part. He was being stingy with it!

Anywho…check out her pages! Her food is delish!

See her Facebook and Instagram.

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I *HEART* My Exercise

One of my fave shots of me and bestie1 getting it in.

But I’ve been exercising every day for the past X months, and I still haven’t lost weight…

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard that line in my office.

Or the response to the question “What are you doing for exercise?” that for some reason is immediately answered with their weight loss efforts, or how they know they should lose weight.


PEOPLE!! Exercise has lots of benefits—some of them have to do with weight, BUT that’s not all of it.

First, let’s talk about what exercise does for weight. Weight loss is 80% diet, 20% exercise. So, you can expect a small amount of weight loss from exercise if you have been completely sedentary, but don’t expect a great deal. What you can expect is weight stabilization. What we find in patients who have been successful in weight loss and kept that weight off for a substantial amount of time (years) is that they are exercising regularly. In addition, I tell my patients, the exercise is COSMETIC. It’s what’s going to help your body look like you want it to look, regardless of whether the scale changes. But for me, these are all extremely superficial to why I am asking people to exercise. Below are just some of the many reasons I like to encourage my patients to GET MOVING!!

  1. Exercise improves memory and thinking skills.
  2. Exercise improves symptoms of depression and anxiety.
  3. Exercise improves insulin resistance.
  4. Exercise improves blood pressure.

In fact, this infographic highlights many of the benefits, from improving bone health to improving sexual health, including some of the things mentioned above.

My active and youthful octogenarians swear by exercise, and swear it helps keep them youthful, active, and they have less achyness when they are exercising regularly.

I encourage exercise at every age. I prescribe it first for almost every chronic ailment. You will hear me mention it often. And it doesn’t have to be much depending on what benefit you are going for.

I actually recently read this article that cited a study that showed that only 7 minutes of jogging daily can cut your risk of heart attack and stroke nearly in half, and adds to your life. I’m huge on circuit training and HIIT training to maximize your time when it comes to burning fat and building muscle—and these workout generally can provide major results in minimal time. But honestly, I encourage people to move in ways they enjoy, swimming, dancing, biking—whatever makes you happy, and is something you will sustain, is something you should do. If you hate walking on a treadmill—don’t buy one. Stop using the heat of the Houston summer as the reason you don’t work out—it’s hot EVERY SUMMER! Come up with a work around.

MOVE! Not to lose weight either. Just because it’s good for you.

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The Giving Tree

I read the article in The New York Times Parenting column and thought it was quite interesting. The Giving Tree was one of my son’s favorite books because he was particularly fond of trees. But I hated this book. And I felt he was too young for me to fully articulate why. The most I said was, “the boy isn’t a very good friend to the tree, and it makes me sad.” He was 4 or 5 at the time.

We don’t read it very often anymore for that reason, but now, I don’t think I’ll mind. This article, entitled “We Need to Talk About ‘The Giving Tree'” has given me some very good discussion points, and quite honestly, they’re good for young and old alike, and it inspired a train of thought PERFECT for my first post on wellness.

In The Giving Tree, a little boy befriends a tree. The tree loves the little boy and gives him whatever he asks, just for the boy to leave for long periods, grow, and return downtrodden, looking for his “friend” to give him something to fix his next problem.

The tree had no healthy boundaries, and gave him whatever he asked, only to be left at the end, with nothing, but a stump to show for this “friendship.”

I saw a parallel in life, right in my office. I have people in front of me all the time, not following their health care regimen, not finding time to eat right, exercise, check their blood sugar or blood pressure because they are taking care of a family member, over too many church ministries, bogged down at work…you name it, I’ve heard it.

My “patient non-adherence” problem is generally filled with a story about how this person has put themselves on the back burner for so many others. NO. BOUNDARIES. It’s what the giving tree did. And she gave until she was only a stump, with nothing left to give, and the boy had everything.

Many times we talk about self-care, we think, spa day, massage, etc. I read this piece a while back that shared my opinion that self-care is so much more and defined true self-care as building a life from which you don’t need escape. That requires excellent skill in setting boundaries.

Here are some wonderful quotes from the article that are great take-aways:

“Self-sacrifice is not sustainable, and it isn’t healthy either. Research shows that people who care about others and neglect themselves are more likely to become anxious and depressed.”

— Adam Grant and Allison Sweet Grant

“Generosity is not about sacrificing yourself for others — it’s about helping others without harming yourself. It’s not about giving to takers — it is giving in ways that nurture more givers. It’s not about dropping everything any time someone needs you — it is prioritizing your needs along with theirs.”

–Adam Grant and Allison Sweet Grant

I thought I was very good at boundaries. And I was okay at it, but I’ve learned that for people I really care about, I have a hard time sticking to my guns. I really rely on their respect for me, and that’s a mistake—we must be comfortable with requiring that respect regardless of whether it is offered.

And actually, let’s take it a step further. Not only did this tree give everything, but it asked for nothing. This is where I have the MOST room for growth: asking for, and receiving, help from others. It’s essential to wellness. Not only does it allow others to express love for you, it allows your tank to be filled in ways you truly need but can’t provide yourself. It is also a practice in humility. It strengthens relationships, because, when we’re honest, there’s a bit of power that comes from always being the helper, never the helped. The closeness that comes from the vulnerability of you allowing someone to help you can really strengthen the bond of friendship (I think I learned this from Brene Brown).

But it’s not just me. These same patients, horrible at boundaries, tend to be givers who need to be convinced to accept help from others. Who either have a hard time humbling themselves enough to receive, a hard time realizing their worthy of the very same help they are wasting away giving others—or some combination of the two.

So, in my inaugural wellness blog post, I choose not to necessarily focus on exercise, or healthy eating, or meditation. But to focus on boundaries and vulnerability. Because the balance between these two things are essential to formulating the inner peace that is required to live well, and I always say, true health starts with mental and spiritual health.

P.S. For more information on these topics, I highly recommend Brene Brown, who is the vulnerability guru. See links to her books on amazon below (I am making NO MONEY FROM THIS—I JUST LOVE HER STUFF):

The Gifts of Imperfection

The Power of Vulnerability

Rising Strong

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