Real Love of a Woman…Wellness of a Woman

I am honored to have been asked to speak to some Christian ladies in a truly holistic way–mind, body, and spirit connection of the importance of truly caring for ourselves.

This entire blog is a testament to the above–we are our best when we take the time to care for ourselves. But we often feel guilty doing so. Many times we focus on scriptures that teach us that to be Christian is to be selfless, and to die to self. Of course this is true–it wouldn’t be in there if it weren’t. But this is balanced with scriptures that teach us what it really means to be God’s child, and to show true love to all His creation. We learn about expediency and moderation in the Bible, and I believe the same is true with selflessness and self-love. We’re taught to be selfless, but we also should show ourselves love, as God’s creation.

“I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well”

Psalms 139:14

In this scripture we recognize that we are God’s creation. Fully honoring his work means fully caring for this amazing creation that he has given us stewardship over.

But even more:

“And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likness, and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the foul of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.”

Gen 1: 25

We are made in God’s image! We aren’t just ANY creation–we are a creation that is made in the image of the ALMIGHTY. But wait–THERE’S MORE!

“What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit which are God’s.”

1 Cor 6:19-20

Not only are we God’s creation, not only are we a special creation in His image, but we house His Spirit!! This body deserves the utmost love, care and respect, as He has given us a most underserved gift! Honoring Him means honoring ourselves as we honor His creation.

So, what does love look like? We’re not talking about that romantic stuff you see in the movies. We’re talking about the love that is patient, kind, unconditional, but also–that disciplines, that sometimes gives advice you don’t want to hear….lol. It’s the kind of love that makes you stronger, healthier, better.

LOVE MEANS ACCEPTANCE

So first, it means accepting your body as it is–as God’s creation–in love. You aren’t trying to change it because it needs to be changed to love it. It is worthy of love because God has created it. Your thighs are perfect the way they are. Your belly is beautiful. Those stretch marks mean you’ve lived through something!

We get healthy BECAUSE we love our bodies, and it means they will stay with us longer, and function for us better. We get healthy because it honors God’s creation when we care for it. But those cosmetic things–those we accept in love, because we are beautiful with them, we are beautiful when they change–they just reflect the trials we have been through. They reflect the resilience of this creation. We are enough just the way we are.

LOVE MEANS DISCIPLINE

This is the hard part.

Love means cultivating healthful habits that support making your body strong.

Sleeping 7-9 hours nightly.

Eating well: the healthy plate should be your guide! 4-5 servings of vegetables daily–so plants, plants and more plants! Decrease your added sugars and processed foods. Try for meatless days or go vegetarian or vegan. Try to decrease your refined carbohydrates and opt for whole grains.

Exercise: In general, try for 30 minutes most days weekly of moderate intensity exercise.

Health maintenance: Make time for your health maintenance appointments so you can get your appropriate screenings and stay on top of any chronic health problems.

These things mean placing appropriate boundaries on your time so that you can take care of yourself. It sometimes means eating something you don’t want to eat, or doing something you don’t want to do. But that’s true love. True love gives you what you need, not what you want.

LOVE MEANS COMMUNICATION AND CARE

During the first weeks of having to take off time with my migraines, I realized how much I ignored my body. I remember being hungry at home, looking up 2 hours later, and not having gone to eat. I was so used to ignoring my body’s communication with me at work, that I was doing the same when I no longer “had” to. What I ultimately figured out was that I shouldn’t have been allowing it at work either.

Love means listening to our body’s cues, and, within reason, attending to them. You feel pain, get that evaluated. Stop going all day with eating, or urinating. Don’t ignore that nausea or indigestion that could in fact be cardiovascular disease. Listen to your body.

Love also means taking a little time for rest and solitude. Just before the Lord sat me down with my migraines, He led me to studies on a sabbath spirit. See, when the Lord rested on the sabbath, it wasn’t because He needed it–He who is omnipotent certainly doesn’t need rest. It was to show us how important it is to be still. Stillness is the time that we have to hear His guidance, grow in His presence, and recharge so that we can give what we need to this world. And don’t believe stillness/meditation is beneficial to your body–well studies suggest that you can improve outcomes in hypertension, insulin resistance, heart disease, and possibly benefit cardiovascular risk.

LOVE MEANS BEING PATIENT WITH YOURSELF

You won’t get it all right the first time. Or the second. Or the third. It’s okay. Love means forgiving yourself, and offering yourself a place to begin again, without judgement.

If we can truly love ourselves, then we can truly love others the way they are meant to be loved. The Bible tells us to love our neighbors AS ourselves (Lev 19:18)–you can’t love someone else appropriately if you don’t love yourself first. You must be strong, you must be well, you must be whole. Take the time to honor God and His creation well. Love your body.

Moving in Faith

Soulful Sundays: Once a week I will have an installment that speaks to my spirituality, because, as I’ve said, to me, spiritual wellness, is essential to complete wellness. Because I am Christian, my spirituality is heavily based on my relationship with the Trinity and the Christian Bible. If reading about God, Jesus, or the Spirit will offend your sensibilities, these posts aren’t for you–be advised

It’s been a while, but it’s past time.

I’ve been reading and growing, just quietly. But I definitely want to get more active on the blog again, and what better way to start than with a Soulful Sunday?

Last year was migraines. This year? Well, I won’t go into the details–I think it would be embarrassing to people who aren’t me, and this blog isn’t about that. What I’ll say is that I have always found it so interesting how the strength you gain from one trial is definitely intended to carry you through the next one. This past year has been hard, humbling, disheartening–but full of growth and love. I have seen the worst in people and the best in people. I have learned to pray for people who have the worst intentions for me. I have remembered to forgive people who never asked for it. I have seen what true friendship means. And in the midst of going through this, I did a devotional on my Bible app call 41 will come with my brother. It wasn’t what I thought it would be, but it was exactly what it should be.

It reminded us of the significance of the number 40 in the Bible, 40 days of flood, Moses hid for 40 years after committing murder, 40 years the Israelites wondered in the wilderness, and 40 days Goliath bullied Israel. It’s the latter that the author chose to focus on to remind us of our personal responsibility in bringing our 41.

I think people should do the devotional, so I’m going to try not to steal the thunder, but this is what I want to say–I walked away from the 7 day plan with a renewed sense of walking into the purpose has for me, despite those that will try to derail me from that path. One thing I have seen in watching others with great purpose is that the devil will get very busy in trying to derail them. People will discourage you, he’ll let that inner voice of yours tell you that your mistakes are too big, and you could never be the person God is telling you you’re supposed to be. That book you are supposed to write, that business you are supposed to start, that presentation you are supposed to give, that promotion you want, the life you are supposed to touch just by being the best version of you possible–the devil is trying to convince you you’re too small. He’s allowing people to tell you that you are too something: too inexperienced, too old, too mean, too new, too cute, too ugly, too uneducated, too poor–and all of it is a lie.

Understand that if God means it for you, no one can take it from you. If God means it for you, there are people who will never be touched in the way they should be if you don’t live up to the purpose God intends for you. And understand that with God’s power behind you, if you believe, you can not fail if you are walking in your path. One of the verses that touched me most was Romans 8:11:

“But if the Spirit of Him that raised up Jesus from the dead dwell in you, He that raised up Christ from the dead shall also quicken your mortal bodies by His Spirit that dwelleth in you.”

Y’all–the Holy Spirit dwells in me. That makes me powerful beyond my imagination–I just have to tap into it, I have to believe in it. I have to face whatever adversary is between me and my purpose knowing that the victory was won before the battle began, because I am meant to touch the lives I will touch by living to my greatest potential. I am doing no one any good by shrinking, by letting those voices, those naysayers, those agents of the enemy get in my head. I am a child of the Most High, He has given me the gift of His Spirit, and my purpose is to glorify Him by living to my greatest and fullest potential. I dare not shrink into the shadows. YOU dare not shrink into the shadows. Not because of people, not because of COVID, not because of anything.

It reminds me one of my favorite quotes–and on it I will end.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

― Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles

I’m not sure about you, but I have to remind myself often–I don’t get to shrink. You don’t get to shrink. We’ve got work to do 🙂

NTCC Ladies’ Day: Shelter in a Time of Storm

Delighted to join these powerhouse sisters to encourage our sisters in Christ in this season.

This is a rough period. The Lord sometimes allows us to go through some storms, but He is always our shelter, and He always shows us ways to continue to protect ourselves.

I was asked to speak on how we secure our physical shelter through this storm.

First some background on COVID can be found here.

I strongly believe that we are to take care of our bodies and that this is scripturally sound messaging! 1 Cor 3:16 tells us that our bodies are the temple of God, and the Spirit of God dwells in us. If you remember how God was very serious about the physical temple built in the Old Testament, you know that He does not take his temple lightly. In 1 Cor 6:19-20 we are further instructed to glorify God with our bodies.

This brings me to SHELTER: Sleep, Healthy eating, Exercise, Listen to the experts, Tame your disease and do your prevention, Everything you already know, and Rest in Him.

S–Sleep

Sleep and other forms of rest and recharge are essential to your health. Science says you ideally need 7-9 hours of sleep nightly. Disordered sleep can affect blood pressures, weight, blood sugars, and increase your risk of heart disease, just to name a few things. Additionally–the reason I bring it here specifically, is it weakens your immune system. You need good rest for a strong immune system, ready to fight any obstacle it may encounter. I’d also like to speak to Meditation and Gratitude -as they are a form of recharge, and are both beneficial to your health. *click the links*

H–Healthy Eating

Healthy eating gives your body the right nutrients to strengthen the immune system. Supplements can be beneficial, but what I have researched and strongly believe is that our bodies process nutrients much better from food sources–this is how God made our bodies–it just makes sense. It also helps keep our bodies at a healthy weight, and obesity has shown to be one of the biggest risk factors for COVID-19.

In Daniel 1:8, 12,13,15, we see a story where Daniel avoided the “royal diet” in favor of eating vegetables and water. At the end of the suggested time, he and the other soldiers were far healthier and more youthful in appearance. I’m not telling you you must go plant-based (although there’s lots of evidence to support this (-:), but there’s your scriptural support for a healthy diet!!

I like to focus on a healthy plate.

For more information on other ways to address your diet see this section of my blog.

E–Exercise

Exercise has been shown to be helpful for strengthening the immune system! Anyone who knows me knows I will prescribe exercise for almost ANYTHING! There are no chemical side effects. It works to counter the obesity that places us more at risk in this pandemic. It works to control chronic illness. It works to help our mental health and sense of well-being. I truly can’t say enough great things about it.

Read my other post about exercise here.

L–Listen to the Experts

It’s a shame that we have really gotten into a culture of mistrust when it comes to our trained professionals. The truth is, that the Bible teaches us that there is a time to sit down, and listen to others. Prov 12:15 says “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise. ” Proverbs 1: 5 says “ A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels”. Mark 12:17 reminds us that everyone has their lane–Give unto Ceasar what is Ceasar’s. We are to put our full trust in God, but we are also to trust those who He has given the knowledge and understanding in certain special areas.

Finally, I have heard many people take the road of “I am just going to trust God” when opting not to follow certain well established guidelines.” This is prohibited in Luke 4:9-12, when Jesus is tested in the wilderness, and refers to older writings saying “It is written, thou shall not tempt the Lord, thy God”

T–Tame Your Disease

One thing we have found in COVID is that many chronic illness are risk factors severe illness in COVID. You want to make sure that you are taking care of yourself. Make your doctor’s appointments–virtually or socially distanced. What we are seeing is people are coming in to hospitals much sicker than they normally are from things that are not COVID because they are scared to come in to take care of their illnesses. We don’t want to see people dying needlessly from other things.

E–Everything You Already Know

Wear your masks, wash your hands, socially distance. It’s simple.

R–Rest in Him

If you take a peek at the rest of my blog, you will see that I went through my own journey before this COVID thing. I grew to a different place with my trust in God. When this COVID thing hit, I sat down, and asked, “Really, God? Something else?” But we had a talk. And he reminded me that:  “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 1 Cor 12:9-11. We have to learn to submit fully to his will, because his will is perfect. He will see us through this storm, y’all! Phil 4:7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Lessons from Ruth


Once a week, I will have an installment that speaks to my spirituality, because, as I’ve said, to me, spiritual wellness, is essential to complete wellness. Because I am Christian, my spirituality is heavily based in my relationship with the Trinity. If reading about God, Jesus, or the Spirit will offend your sensibilities, these posts aren’t for you—be advised.

I’m still dealing with these migraines. Still trying to see where they’re going to take me and I’m still looking for guidance, and sometimes needing a little encouragement to keep pushing. It has been so amazing to see God work to use these migraines to grow me as a person, and amazing to see Him give me just what I need to keep me pushing. He didn’t disappoint this Sunday.
It’s funny how even when you know better, you think YOU are making a decision, when actually, it’s been His plan all along. Or, He’s rather capable of using our decisions for His benefit. Either way…
Our dog has been having quite a time with his ear cropping, and we were having guests over later in the afternoon. In an attempt to be able to have some down time before our guests (to prevent a major headache) and so that someone could watch the dog (to keep him from removing his bandages, yet again!) I attended 8 am service at a congregation other than the one I usually attend. And it was obvious, this was just as God intended, as soon as I heard the message.

“God will take you through something—He needs to humble you because He’s getting ready to expand you in a great way.”


The minister was talking about Ruth, about how she lost her husband and her sons, she was widowed, with no family, and she was basically at what we would call “rock bottom.” He explained that sometimes, God will take you through something—He needs to humble you because He’s getting ready to expand you in a great way. He then used a secular example: Steve Harvey.
Steve Harvey was praying for an increase in his notoriety, then he announced the wrong winner on the Miss Universe stage in 2015. He instantly became known world wide, and it was so bad, he had to hire security due to death threats. Shortly after, he had a show where he hosted Miss Columbia, and it was his show with highest ratings. He has been much more globally recognized since that moment.
Back to Ruth—Ruth lost everything. But Naomi, her daughter-in-law stuck beside her. And through that love, God increased Ruth’s blessing she became the ancestor of one of the greatest men to ever walk the face of the Earth according to us Christians!
I left so encouraged. I’m not sure who else needs to hear this, but I sure did. Sometimes you’ve prayed for an increase. Sometimes you didn’t even pray for it, but God is ready for you to have it. However, before you can have something so great, you need to know how human you are, how small you are, so that you keep your humility. You need to remember just how quickly it can vanish so that you appreciate it when it comes. You need to remember how great He is, so that you don’t second guess who got you where you are, and who’s going to continue to carry you through. Be blessed!

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