Focus: My New Growth Place

Soulful Sundays: Once a week I will have an installment that speaks to my spirituality, because, as I’ve said, to me, spiritual wellness, is essential to complete wellness. Because I am Christian, my spirituality is heavily based on my relationship with the Trinity and the Christian Bible. If reading about God, Jesus, or the Spirit will offend your sensibilities, these posts aren’t for you–be advised.

The Lord has been taking me through quite the awakening. When my word for the year came to me, it was clear to me that a major part of my journey was about faith (the word was LEAP). Believe me, I have been majorly uncomfortable as God has stretched and stretched me in this area of my life in the past few months, but I receive and thank Him for this growth.

However, a realization came to me as I was doing yoga the other morning.  I use the morning flows on my audible app to guide me, and I was doing a flow I hadn’t done in a while. (Full disclosure: I really haven’t been practicing the way I would like.) We were doing a balancing pose (half moon for my yogis), and I didn’t pay attention to where I was supposed to fix my gaze the first time around. I found myself wobbling in a way I don’t normally wobble—I had to come out of the pose and regroup. On the next side, however, I caught where my gaze should be. That half moon was very stable. And as I reflected, I remembered something I had learned in dance many years ago—if your point of focus is off, your balance will be thrown off as well. And then it hit me like a batter hitting a grand slam (I didn’t fall though.)

Part of what I’ve been missing about what I’ve been going through lately is that a huge part of this has been about focus.

In 2019, when I was out with the headaches, I was doing a devotional that made me realize that I had, at some point, let my priorities get a little out of place, and I made the commitment then to get my priorities straight: 1. God, 2. Family (which meant prioritizing health and self-care), 3. Job—in that order.

Except, somewhere between 2019 and 2021, I had allowed things to begin to shift again. While I was still managing to take better care of myself, work was beginning to have a much stronger hold on my life than it should. And truthfully, there were some clear revelations that I had had during the 2019 period that I had clearly ignored—yeah, I know.

So, what did God do. He loved me enough to give me another chance to get my act together. And while I knew that this was a faith walk, and while He gave me the words to tell patients as I exited, I don’t think I realized internally just how much I had let work creep into that place of priority until I had to have that moment of introspection during/after my yoga practice that day.

I had been coming to realize that in this job search I’ve been having, while I started out with some clear hopes, I have really come to a place where when people ask me what I want, I am truly okay with nos. Truly. Because I’m okay with whatever God is okay with. I try something, and I have a plan for what the next try is if it’s a no. Because my ultimate goal is to walk in whatever direction He would have me walk in. And I am finding that I am 100% okay with that, because—and I said this out loud, which is when I got that I hadn’t been here before—this chapter isn’t about my career, this chapter is about what I can offer God and my family. I have acquired an amazing skill set. I can do so many things and do them well. The career will be there if God sees fit. Right now, God would have my focus on what He would have me focus on.

A few scriptures come to mind:

“And be not fashioned according to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, and ye may prove what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”

Romans 12:2 ASV

“Set your mind on the things that are above, not on the things that are upon the earth.”

Col 3:2 ASV

“But seek ye first his kingdom, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”

Matt 6:33 ASV

“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

2 Cor 4:18

I have prayed that my will be His will, and that we be aligned. They say be careful what you ask for, but here we are. All this time later, I’m just realizing.

FAITH and FOCUS.

I’m not sure who needs to hear this, but believe me, you want to reprioritize before He has to beat you over the head the way He did me. Don’t be so hardheaded…lol. Are things seeming off balance in your life and you don’t understand why? It may be time to refocus on the things that matter and ground you.

Because spoiler alert—God loves us enough that He isn’t going to leave us out here without trying to get our attention. And I know from painful personal experience, that when He starts that pruning process, it can be painful.

FAITH and FOCUS.

Unconventional Valentine

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on it’s own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.”

1Cor 13:4-8a (ESV)

Valentine’s Day is coming, and I’ve had pretty unconventional love lesson on my heart.

I have been through a few seasons lately that have taught me something: when people are treating you horribly for no reason at all—when you don’t understand it and want to wish them the same as what they are giving you—pray for your heart, and then, pray for them. And I don’t mean one of those high and mighty full of judgment prayers. I mean dig deep for some compassion—again, I said pray for your heart—and REALLY pray for them. If you know they are going through something, pray that they be delivered. If you know they need something, pray they receive it. Their loved one is sick, pray for health for their loved one and peace for them.

There are many scriptures telling us to love our enemies, pray for our enemies, and allow the Lord to fight our battles.

Let’s start in Romans. Verses 12:14, 17, 19-21 (CSB) state:

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse
Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Give careful thought to do what is honorable in everyone’s eyes.
Friends, do not avenge yourselves; instead, leave room for God’s wrath, because it is written, Vengeance belongs to me; I will repay, says the Lord. But if your enemy is hungry, feed, him. If he is thirsty, give him something to drink. For in so doing, you will be heaping fiery coals on his head. Do not be conquered by evil, but conquer evil with good.

We aren’t supposed to respond in kind, but we are actually to bless those who do us wrong or seem to want to harm us. We are to remember that God is the one fighting our battles and balancing the score, and the Bible tells us that that will actually be worse for that person than if we tried to handle it our way. However, what I find in the reading of other scriptures is what I’ve alluded to earlier, and what we know of Christianity. Christianity is about the heart, and so, if we’re told to bless our enemies, not avenge ourselves, and to allow room for God to fight for us, then it means that we can’t do these things with the intention of what God’s wrath will/should look like, or that there even should be a punishment.

What?

Yes, I mean, there is no judgment to come from us. It’s not our place, and our role is to bless, and not repay. That should come from the heart. And I believe it is further evidenced from other scriptural references.

Matthew 5:44-46 (CSV) states,

“But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven. For he causes his son to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. For if you love those who love you, what reward will you have? Don’t even the tax collectors do the same?” 

And in Luke 6:35-37 (CSV) we’re told,

“But love your enemies, do what is good and lend expecting nothing in return. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High. For he is gracious to the ungrateful and evil. Be merciful, just as your father is merciful. “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive and you will be forgiven.”

We enter Romans with this context—Jesus has laid this groundwork before this letter is sent. Your heart is to be filled with love for your enemies as you pray for them. Why? Because God treats everyone as equal. Because you are to strive to be as God is, loving everyone equally. You are to strive to be merciful, so that you may be treated mercifully, and forgive, so that you may be forgiven.

We are all human. We all err. It is not for you to judge the heart, mind, or soul of another. It is not for you to decide what correction this person needs. Because God’s ultimate desire is that ALL will come to know Him. When He rebukes, it will ultimately be for their correction—He loves them as He loves you. And you have no place to intervene or wish something different for them than His will. Humility.

It was when I realized this, I humbled myself enough to realize that for someone else, at some point in time, I may have unknowingly been a part of their persecution as some people have been in mine. And some, who I feel are knowing perpetrators, they may have brokenness I cannot conceive and need grace. I am not in a position to judge anything or wish God do anything apart for His will for them.

So, I humbled myself. I stopped judging the situation. And I prayed FOR them, their families, their struggles, their brokenness. I prayed God help them in the ways they needed help. I prayed he help heal my spirit and protect it from the darkness of hate and anger.

I will not lie to you. The hurt doesn’t disappear overnight. The trauma others help put you through–that doesn’t go away overnight. I believe and wholly subscribe to therapy. God gives us tools to help us in the process, and I believe we should use them.

Oh, BUT!!

The way that things shifted when I was able to start praying FOR them. Truly and wholeheartedly praying for them. The peace over the situation…that is the beginning of real healing. And God is faithful. He corrects. He handles His business. And it doesn’t always look like how you think might, but trust and believe, its as it should be. Humility—we don’t know the entire picture. But God knows what was said in rooms you weren’t in. He sees hearts. And as someone who doesn’t typically gossip or worry about other people’s business, He typically finds a way for me to see that things are being handled, and I can rest easily (the same way he tends to make sure I had the information about what was going on in the first place–y’all, information will hunt you down).

I am reminded as well, that without them, sometimes our greatest growth and our greatest purpose is not accomplished. If you recall, Judas Iscariot had to do what he did, those who took part in Jesus’s persecution, humiliation, and crucifixion, all played an integral role so that He could fulfill his purpose and we could have salvation. When I remember that these people have played a part in my greater good in the vein of Romans 8:28, and that they are human, and we all fall short—I certainly have, and I have certainly hurt someone—I remember my role is to love. I do have to work on the trauma and hurt. But loving is a part of that.

It is the greatest commandment (Matt 22:37-39), and our neighbors include everyone, even our enemies (Luke 10:25-37, Matt 5:44). “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.” We always quote this when it comes to marriage, friendship, or family, but our enemies? Reminder—definition doesn’t change.

This is a hard one. I’m learning, as well. Constantly praying on it. But it’s transforming me, and I’m hopeful it will transform you as well. Not your typical Valentine, but important, nonetheless. Forgiveness sets you free.

Trust

I have a confession. I have a control problem.

I like to plan everything. I like to have plan A, B, C, D, E and F. Listen, I want a contingency for the contingency. I like to know that I have all bases covered, and nothing can go wrong.

Except…

That’s not possible. Something always goes wrong. You always forget some detail. Or, you’re simply frozen in place, never getting done what you need to get done because you’re too busy planning for perfection that simply isn’t attainable.

Let me tell you the work God is doing in me right now.

When I say He has decided that it’s truly time for me to tackle this perfectionism and trust issue that I have, I may be understating things a bit.

So, there were a few lessons here, that I really want to bring out.

  • The process has been painful. Very painful. But I was reading the Mark retelling of the rich man who asks Jesus what he should do to inherit eternal life. This one is different in that it highlights something specific after Jesus gives him the answer to which he replies that he’s done all this since he was a child. “And Jesus looking upon him loved him, and said unto him, One thing thou lackest: go, sell whatsoever thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, follow me.” Jesus gave him the hard truth because he loved him. This is important. Like a loving parent, God will allow the harsh consequences of our choosing to go outside His will, to do things our own way to shake us up so that we can live our perfect purpose—the one He has for us. And no, I’m not talking about sin, although sin could count. I’m talking about when He sees us off the path that is best for our well-being, that of our family or that of our relationship with Him–when sees us off the path of our gift and how it could best affect those we’re meant to touch. It doesn’t always mean you did something “wrong.” It can mean you just aren’t trusting His guidance, and you’re relying too heavily on your own voice. I found myself in the exact same situation for a second time—well, maybe not exact, but way too similar to make sense. I knew that I hadn’t done the obvious things to end up there. I had to reevaluate—what did I miss the first time that brought me back to this point?

  • Taking everything to God means even admitting when you have trust issues (or when you’re mad at him or have some questions you think you shouldn’t have). You can’t move past a problem if you don’t first admit the problem. And let me let you in on something—He already knows, and the fact you aren’t talking about it is just a big elephant in the room. It needs to be addressed. So, I said, “God, I know you can do anything, I’ve seen you do so much. You’ve never let me down. But you know me. I’m having a problem fully letting go right now. Help me.” That was the first step. I mean, we aren’t there yet, but some real walls are coming down. So yeah, He already knows. Who better to ask for help with that thing that’s really standing in the way of progress?

  • Specific to my situation, let’s call this voice that asks me to solve every problem exactly what it is. I say I’m going to trust God, and then something unexpected happens or something doesn’t happen when I think it should and I hear “What are you going to do if X falls through?” And you know who that is? I’m ashamed to say it took a devotional to point out to me that that voice is none other than the deceiver, asking me to question what I’ve been assured: the battle is not mine (by the way, the best way to answer the deceiver is as our Lord did: it is written…). My job is to move how I’ve been directed (faith + works) and wait for God to do the rest. Stop trying to solve everything. If I’ve moved how I’ve been told, then that’s all that’s needed. He’s got it. And the more I believe it, the more it’s done. I always come back to Jesus’s hometown when I think about God’s power—He didn’t do many miracles there because of THEIR unbelief. Not that He couldn’t—He was the same Jesus. He just DIDN’T. Oh, but if you just have mustard seed faith…

So I’m learning. I’m not naïve enough to think that I will achieve perfection here—it’s one of my many thorns. But I’m working on it. And hopefully, if I’m not the only one, one of you will join me.

Real Love of a Woman…Wellness of a Woman

I am honored to have been asked to speak to some Christian ladies in a truly holistic way–mind, body, and spirit connection of the importance of truly caring for ourselves.

This entire blog is a testament to the above–we are our best when we take the time to care for ourselves. But we often feel guilty doing so. Many times we focus on scriptures that teach us that to be Christian is to be selfless, and to die to self. Of course this is true–it wouldn’t be in there if it weren’t. But this is balanced with scriptures that teach us what it really means to be God’s child, and to show true love to all His creation. We learn about expediency and moderation in the Bible, and I believe the same is true with selflessness and self-love. We’re taught to be selfless, but we also should show ourselves love, as God’s creation.

“I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well”

Psalms 139:14

In this scripture we recognize that we are God’s creation. Fully honoring his work means fully caring for this amazing creation that he has given us stewardship over.

But even more:

“And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likness, and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the foul of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.”

Gen 1: 25

We are made in God’s image! We aren’t just ANY creation–we are a creation that is made in the image of the ALMIGHTY. But wait–THERE’S MORE!

“What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit which are God’s.”

1 Cor 6:19-20

Not only are we God’s creation, not only are we a special creation in His image, but we house His Spirit!! This body deserves the utmost love, care and respect, as He has given us a most underserved gift! Honoring Him means honoring ourselves as we honor His creation.

So, what does love look like? We’re not talking about that romantic stuff you see in the movies. We’re talking about the love that is patient, kind, unconditional, but also–that disciplines, that sometimes gives advice you don’t want to hear….lol. It’s the kind of love that makes you stronger, healthier, better.

LOVE MEANS ACCEPTANCE

So first, it means accepting your body as it is–as God’s creation–in love. You aren’t trying to change it because it needs to be changed to love it. It is worthy of love because God has created it. Your thighs are perfect the way they are. Your belly is beautiful. Those stretch marks mean you’ve lived through something!

We get healthy BECAUSE we love our bodies, and it means they will stay with us longer, and function for us better. We get healthy because it honors God’s creation when we care for it. But those cosmetic things–those we accept in love, because we are beautiful with them, we are beautiful when they change–they just reflect the trials we have been through. They reflect the resilience of this creation. We are enough just the way we are.

LOVE MEANS DISCIPLINE

This is the hard part.

Love means cultivating healthful habits that support making your body strong.

Sleeping 7-9 hours nightly.

Eating well: the healthy plate should be your guide! 4-5 servings of vegetables daily–so plants, plants and more plants! Decrease your added sugars and processed foods. Try for meatless days or go vegetarian or vegan. Try to decrease your refined carbohydrates and opt for whole grains.

Exercise: In general, try for 30 minutes most days weekly of moderate intensity exercise.

Health maintenance: Make time for your health maintenance appointments so you can get your appropriate screenings and stay on top of any chronic health problems.

These things mean placing appropriate boundaries on your time so that you can take care of yourself. It sometimes means eating something you don’t want to eat, or doing something you don’t want to do. But that’s true love. True love gives you what you need, not what you want.

LOVE MEANS COMMUNICATION AND CARE

During the first weeks of having to take off time with my migraines, I realized how much I ignored my body. I remember being hungry at home, looking up 2 hours later, and not having gone to eat. I was so used to ignoring my body’s communication with me at work, that I was doing the same when I no longer “had” to. What I ultimately figured out was that I shouldn’t have been allowing it at work either.

Love means listening to our body’s cues, and, within reason, attending to them. You feel pain, get that evaluated. Stop going all day with eating, or urinating. Don’t ignore that nausea or indigestion that could in fact be cardiovascular disease. Listen to your body.

Love also means taking a little time for rest and solitude. Just before the Lord sat me down with my migraines, He led me to studies on a sabbath spirit. See, when the Lord rested on the sabbath, it wasn’t because He needed it–He who is omnipotent certainly doesn’t need rest. It was to show us how important it is to be still. Stillness is the time that we have to hear His guidance, grow in His presence, and recharge so that we can give what we need to this world. And don’t believe stillness/meditation is beneficial to your body–well studies suggest that you can improve outcomes in hypertension, insulin resistance, heart disease, and possibly benefit cardiovascular risk.

LOVE MEANS BEING PATIENT WITH YOURSELF

You won’t get it all right the first time. Or the second. Or the third. It’s okay. Love means forgiving yourself, and offering yourself a place to begin again, without judgement.

If we can truly love ourselves, then we can truly love others the way they are meant to be loved. The Bible tells us to love our neighbors AS ourselves (Lev 19:18)–you can’t love someone else appropriately if you don’t love yourself first. You must be strong, you must be well, you must be whole. Take the time to honor God and His creation well. Love your body.

Think on These Things

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things”

Phillipians 4:6-8

Yes, it’s been a rough season. It may still be rough. This pandemic keeps stretching on. More and more people keep getting sick, and life keeps happening. We can’t control many things, but we can control our responses to our circumstances and our minds. This week, these scriptures came up in one of my devotionals, and it was striking to me the order in which they came.

First, don’t be anxious. Realize that everything is taken care of BEFORE it’s taken care of. You know this and you thank Him–not just with your lips, but with your heart. Our God has a history of being able to work things out, and we should realize that. I believe this is so important–the knowing. When Jesus was in his home town, He did not perform many miracles, because of their unbelief. When we don’t believe, we place limitations on God that aren’t naturally present. Not because He can’t, but why should He? Our unbelief is why our mountains don’t move. Knowing that things will work out, will change, that we will be victorious before we even ask, this is important. Our God is mighty, but our faith is an important part of what He requires from us.

Next, pray, humbly, giving thanks for what you know He will do. This will give peace that won’t make sense given your current situation. Your heart and mind will be guarded. BUT IT DOESN”T STOP THERE!

The next step is so important. Because now that you have removed the worries from your mind, you must fill that space, or an idle mind will be filled with negativity again. So what do you do? Focus your mind on positive things–pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy things. You meditate on positivity.

So, I will be the first to admit that I am not necessarily an optimist–I call myself a realist. But here, it is telling us to focus on those things that are good. Additionally, many people find meditation and mindfulness uncomfortable topics, but this is one example that it is not necessarily something to be fearful of. Meditation has been shown to have health benefits, and meditation on the correct things will keep your heart and mind at peace after the appropriate steps have been taken.

I can’t tell y’all how much I have seen this at play in my own life during this pandemic. Positive thinking, thanking Him in faith, rejoicing before it’s done, gratitude and focusing on positive things, meditating on His word and my spiritual growth. I have found myself more peaceful than I could have imagined through some extremely difficult periods this year. Reading these scriptures truly hit home, because this year has been hard. My patients are sick and anxious and some have died and are dying. I’ve lost friends and loved ones. I’ve had struggles that aren’t pandemic related. But through it all, I’ve had so much to give thanks for, so much to smile about, so much light! If you know where to focus, there is so much peace in the midst of a storm. (Peter found that if you know where to focus, you, too, can walk on water! Just don’t get distracted. Matt 14: 28-29)

This too shall pass. But in the mean time, you can have peace. You can smile. You should rejoice and give thanks. Because of what you have today. Because of what will be done. “And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds.”

Provision–Holiness, Not Happiness

My preacher did a sermon last week talking about our new theme. One of the words is provision. Its such an important word–and one I’ve been focused on for this past year. It’s one I’ve focused on as we approached and entered 2021. Everyone was so focused on 2021 being better. But the interesting thing was was that 2019 for me had been so hard, and 2020 was supposed to be my year. So when 2020 was what it was, I learned something: I learned that you don’t ever expect for things to magically get better because human time is hitting some milestone. I learned that things can get worse and drag on, but at the same time, things give and shift, and God has prepared you for what is coming–He has given provision.

You see, I read a book a while ago called Sacred Marriage: What if God Created Marriage to Make us Holy Instead of Happy. And good gracious–while I don’t have time to delve into ALLLLL the growth that that book gave me, it was eye opening, and the concept definitely applies: God’s purpose for our life is peace and holiness, not necessarily happiness in the human sense. Now, the more in line we are with His will, the “happier” we are. And honestly, there are happy times. But we have to get out of this mindset that God is concerned with our happiness, because truthfully, we don’t necessarily grow when we are happy. We don’t stretch when we are happy. And if you are not where you need to be, God’s main concern is getting you to that place–not keeping you happy. This is hard, but Proverbs 3:5 tells us we should “Trust in the Lord with all [our] heart and lean not unto [our] own understanding.”

So….2021….in America…may continue to be a little rough. But let me tell you what my God promises.

“But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.”

Phil 4:19

“I have been young, and now I am old, yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken nor his seed begging bread.”

Psa 37: 25

What does this mean? It means that no matter what you are going through, no matter what we are going through, God is going to make sure we have just what we need to get through it.

When we walked into COVID after I had just experienced the 2019 I had experienced, I learned to pray differently–Lord, give me what I need to encounter whatever you have next for me. Help me to learn whatever there is for me to learn from this. Help me to grow in the ways you see for me to grow. Stretch me how you need to stretch me. Use me how You need to use me. Because I know You have me. I know it.

And He does–Every. Single. Time.

Provision. He’s got us. We just have to trust it, put on our armor, and be ready for the amazing growth he has in store. He wants to see us at our best, not our happiest. Get ready to GROW!!

VACCINE for COVID-19 #THISISOURSHOT

It’s here–the vaccine(s) that could eventually get us back to living relatively normal lives in time. But so many people don’t trust it.

I won’t lie. I’m one that was hoping that all the appropriate steps were taken. I’m very pro-vaccine, and I knew that we couldn’t take any missteps that would give the public a real reason to mistrust vaccinations. However, after more education, I understand that there is no reason to mistrust how quickly this vaccine came into being–it’s fabulous that we can stand on the shoulders of the scientists that came before us. And these scientists were able to jump a bunch of red tape and received lots of funding that made this incredibly fast timing possible. It’s not that they skipped the science–it’s that they skipped the bureaucracy. Great!!

I ultimately took the vaccine for one reason–because the only way we stop being ravaged by the craziness of this virus is that we reach herd immunity. That comes either by enough people being vaccinated, or enough people being naturally infected–which would mean a lot of death, and a lot of lives changed for the worse. I DO NOT want the latter, and IDSA spoke out against a campaign for this type of thing here. So vaccine it is.

Mistrust of Black America

So, with good reason, Black people don’t really trust the health care establishment. Okay. I get it. I know what they did to us. I know what they do to us. I have a front row seat on a daily basis. But folks. They really are really trying with this one. They tried hard to get us enrolled in the studies so they would know how it affected us. They are trying hard to make sure that it gets to our population when it gets rolled out. AND–in case you didn’t know:

This is Dr. Kizzmekia Shanta Corbett. She is the one of the people behind this vaccine, and look–she’s blackity black–like–her name couldn’t be more us–and I’m here for it! Her nickname is “Kizzy” y’all! And despite all this, Black people still really don’t trust this vaccine.

This is the thing: We are being disproportionately affected by COVID-19–you know why? Because of the very things that we are right about–the institutional racism that causes our populations to be disproportionately affected by obesity and diabetes which are risk factors for severe COVID, because of factors which cause us to have less access to healthcare, and factors that show that even once we have access, the establishment tends to treat us less effectively. All that is true.

So yeah. You know what’s going to happen if we don’t get vaccinated, all the REAL institutional racism that’s causing us to die disproportionately of COVID-19 is going to keep being a thing. I’m thinking it’s best to go with the solution to this problem, and fight to get the same therapy everyone else is getting.

More Questions?

Okay, so you want more answers? There’s an amazing woman on Facebook, Friendly Neighbor, Epidemiologist, who has broken down a lot of these concepts. In one of my favorite posts, she not only compares the two vaccines, but she also links explanations to many FAQs about the vaccines.

Wonder how these mRNA vaccines work?

Well there is an awesome post from a 9 year-old that is great at explaining how this works. Please click the image for the original Facebook post–because her mom totally deserves credit for raising such an amazing kid!

If you’re one of the lucky/blessed few who get to be vaccinated first, remember that you should continue to wear your masks and socially distance. We will not know if people who are vaccinated are able to unknowingly spread the virus for some time, so it’s important to continue safety measures to protect those who are unvaccinated until we are able to reach mass levels of vaccination.

There are very few contraindications to (or absolute reasons not to receive) the vaccine. Previous allergic responses to food, medications, etc. should be reported so that you can be observed differently. Previous allergic reactions to a vaccination should be discussed with your physician, and you may decide to wait until more vaccines have been given–but you may decide to proceed–that is up to you and your physician or the institution administering the vaccine, and I’ve seen people with previous allergic reactions to other vaccines do well with this vaccine.

Ultimately–regardless–it’s an intensely personal decision. However, this intensely personal decision does indeed affect public health, so don’t take it lightly. Do your research, from reputable sources. Don’t feed into the media that’s designed to scare you for no reason. For instance, I keep seeing this article saying some COVID-19 vaccines could increase the risk of HIV infections. No one bothers to point out that the ones in question are still in trial phase, and are neither of the two vaccines now approved for Emergency Use Authorization in the US. It’s important to read and read well my friends.

Have you seen this one about the physician who died a few weeks after receiving the vaccine? People keep posting as if it is definitely connected to the vaccine. First of all, it hasn’t been. Second of all, even if we connect it to the vaccine, it will be the first death connected to vaccination. That is literally 1 death in 5-6 million vaccinated people. Compared to a death rate of 1% in COVID, and a morbidity rate that is likely 30-50%–if not higher. (So that you understand what that looks like that would mean that 50,000-60,000 people would be dead from the vaccine for it to be equally deadly). Again, in medicine, we are discussing risk vs benefit. The vaccine is FAR SAFER than the disease.

Be safe. Wear your masks. Wash your hands. Socially distance. And yes, I’ll ask, if you can, please, be vaccinated.

Wow–We’ve Come a Long Way!!

I figured I’d take some time to reflect on how I’m feeling…we’ve come a long way since the last time I did this. Click the pictures for each perspective.

Physician
Wife
Mom
Woman
Soul

Wow, We’ve Come a Long Way–Faith

Faith.

“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”

Hebrews 11:1

That’s what I felt as I had the injection pushed into my arm on Friday. Faith.

For the first time medically, I was doing something that didn’t have years and years of evidence behind it. I was taking a leap.

But look at what God brought me through. The pandemic started and I was terrified because I wasn’t sure how this was going to pan out. Being a primary care physician, I am the gateway for so many illness. But God.

My institution immediately protected us—we didn’t have enough PPE, so we immediately went virtual. When we did begin to see patients in person, it was again a transition—were we going to be safe. Daily, doing my due diligence. Changing how I dressed. Changing my shoes. A different protocol for coming home each day. And with God’s help, my family and I have remained uninfected despite some exposure.

My prayer at the beginning of this—“God, get us to a treatment so we are less likely to die or have a bad outcome.” Friday, I sat down to receive the vaccine, because, faith, and science.

When God answers prayers, you don’t sit around and question what’s going to happen in 10 years if you do the thing He delivered. You do it. You leap. What if the Israelites had hesitated before walking across the dry ground of the Red Sea. Similarly, what did happen when they refused to believe God could deliver them the Promised Land? None of them entered it, except the two that gave the good report.

Faith. And overwhelming gratitude.

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Wow, We’ve Come a Long Way–Woman

I’m sick of all of it.

I’m sick of no alone time ever.

I’m sick of wearing a mask everywhere I go.

I’m sick of never getting to wear my cute clothes.

I’m sick of no vacations.

I’m sick of looking at other people go on vacation while I don’t get to go on vacation.

My resident asked me if I ever took days off…I was like why? So I can go sit and look at the same people I’ve been seeing for months and do the same thing I’ve been doing for months?

I’m so tired.

Okay, so my vent is over.

Because in the midst of it all, I’m amazed at how God has managed to grow me and bless me. I have been blessed to speak at more events than any year previous. I have cohosted a web-series. I gave my first scientific meeting talk—not on a scientific topic, but still. I am poised to go into this new year making a difference in ways I hadn’t foreseen, leading in ways I hadn’t foreseen. I am thankful.

So yes, I’m looking forward to being able to spend some more time with myself, and focus on some self-improvement, goals and boundary setting—or you know, just hear myself think, but I will also focus on the positive. I’ve managed to accomplish a great deal despite the craziness. And I appreciate you all for going on this ride with me.

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