The Lord has been taking me through quite the awakening. When my word for the year came to me, it was clear to me that a major part of my journey was about faith (the word was LEAP). Believe me, I have been majorly uncomfortable as God has stretched and stretched me in this area of my life in the past few months, but I receive and thank Him for this growth.
However, a realization came to me as I was doing yoga the other morning. I use the morning flows on my audible app to guide me, and I was doing a flow I hadn’t done in a while. (Full disclosure: I really haven’t been practicing the way I would like.) We were doing a balancing pose (half moon for my yogis), and I didn’t pay attention to where I was supposed to fix my gaze the first time around. I found myself wobbling in a way I don’t normally wobble—I had to come out of the pose and regroup. On the next side, however, I caught where my gaze should be. That half moon was very stable. And as I reflected, I remembered something I had learned in dance many years ago—if your point of focus is off, your balance will be thrown off as well. And then it hit me like a batter hitting a grand slam (I didn’t fall though.)
Part of what I’ve been missing about what I’ve been going through lately is that a huge part of this has been about focus.
In 2019, when I was out with the headaches, I was doing a devotional that made me realize that I had, at some point, let my priorities get a little out of place, and I made the commitment then to get my priorities straight: 1. God, 2. Family (which meant prioritizing health and self-care), 3. Job—in that order.
Except, somewhere between 2019 and 2021, I had allowed things to begin to shift again. While I was still managing to take better care of myself, work was beginning to have a much stronger hold on my life than it should. And truthfully, there were some clear revelations that I had had during the 2019 period that I had clearly ignored—yeah, I know.
So, what did God do. He loved me enough to give me another chance to get my act together. And while I knew that this was a faith walk, and while He gave me the words to tell patients as I exited, I don’t think I realized internally just how much I had let work creep into that place of priority until I had to have that moment of introspection during/after my yoga practice that day.
I had been coming to realize that in this job search I’ve been having, while I started out with some clear hopes, I have really come to a place where when people ask me what I want, I am truly okay with nos. Truly. Because I’m okay with whatever God is okay with. I try something, and I have a plan for what the next try is if it’s a no. Because my ultimate goal is to walk in whatever direction He would have me walk in. And I am finding that I am 100% okay with that, because—and I said this out loud, which is when I got that I hadn’t been here before—this chapter isn’t about my career, this chapter is about what I can offer God and my family. I have acquired an amazing skill set. I can do so many things and do them well. The career will be there if God sees fit. Right now, God would have my focus on what He would have me focus on.
A few scriptures come to mind:
“And be not fashioned according to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, and ye may prove what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”
Romans 12:2 ASV
“Set your mind on the things that are above, not on the things that are upon the earth.”
Col 3:2 ASV
“But seek ye first his kingdom, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”
Matt 6:33 ASV
“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”
2 Cor 4:18
I have prayed that my will be His will, and that we be aligned. They say be careful what you ask for, but here we are. All this time later, I’m just realizing.
FAITH and FOCUS.
I’m not sure who needs to hear this, but believe me, you want to reprioritize before He has to beat you over the head the way He did me. Don’t be so hardheaded…lol. Are things seeming off balance in your life and you don’t understand why? It may be time to refocus on the things that matter and ground you.
Because spoiler alert—God loves us enough that He isn’t going to leave us out here without trying to get our attention. And I know from painful personal experience, that when He starts that pruning process, it can be painful.
FAITH and FOCUS.